Even though I haven't read that book yet, I found two books on the same topic called The Male Brain and The Female Brain written by Louann Brizendine, a neuropsychiatrist who focused her research on women's moods and hormones.
If the science behind is true, we truly are very different, and all the differences can be explained by a different neurology and the way our brains develop and function.
The books talk about male and female hormonal and brain growth from birth to an old age, and explain how different parts of the brain develop and control our behavior.
This post will focus on the pre-teenage age which might be helpful for all you current and future mothers.
Pre-Adolescence: "It's all about me"
Fetus stage
Both male and female fetuses until its eighth week look the same, and are more similar to a female one. In the eighth week of pregnancy the increase of testosteron happens in the male fetus. The testosteron destroys some of the cells in the centers for communication and facilitates production of cells in the centers for sex and aggressiveness. As a result, girls are more talkative than boys, and later on, women will be better in communication and empathy, while men will have a stronger sex drive and aggressiveness than women.
First year
The brain composition of a baby girl and the hormons that it creates is driving her to closely examine faces around her, i.e. girls tend to be more observant of facial expressions. In the first couple of months, the girl's ability to notice and process emotions increases by more than 400%. The same does not happen in a male brain because the increased testosteron kills a number of cells in the communication centers.
Therefore, girls can tell from the looks and reactions of other people whether they are liked or not and are more likely to read non verbal cues from their parents. They normally insist on getting a reaction from people around them, and will do anything to get it: smile, talk, stare, entertain etc.
The boys until the seventh month will be able to read cues from mother's facial expressions. By their first year they will develop an immunity towards the facial expressions and ignore them with ease.
For a girl it is extremely important to be listened to and to be given the full attention. She will equate the amount of attention she gets with her self-worth and will build her self-confidence based on that. In that sense, baby girls will be much more demanding for parents' attention than the boys.
The boys, on the other hand, are highly stimulated by visual exploration of objects around them, especially those in movement and enjoy to explore geometrical shapes, cubes and objects' angles. Boys are more easily irritable and they take more time to calm down. In that sense they demand more of the parent's time and patience as they keep them on their toes at all times.
Infantile puberty
Around 18th month babies enter a hormonal phase called infantile puberty that lasts for 24 months in girls, and 9 months in boys. During this time the ovaries produce enormous amounts of estrogen, which boosts the development of centers for emotions, empathy, intuition, and care about others. The male body produces testosteron and MIS hormon, that develops boy's muscular and movement capabilities, exploratory nature, spatial abilities and affinity for a competitive game.
The nature of interactions
Therefore, women are programmed to keep harmonious relationships and tend to avoid fights or arguments. That is why girls and women are more likely to be cooperative and find a compromise in social interactions. Boys, on the other hand, have more competitive interactions and competing is part of their "program". While girls use words that stimulate cooperation, boys will develop a dictionary that will sound like giving orders.
The reason behind the fact that girls are better in communication goes back to the evolution and how we were trained to survive. Namely, it was important for mothers to read the signs of facial expressions in order to know what their babies wanted. It was also important for women in tribal times to know how to spot more aggressive men and stay away from them, or cooperate with other women to protect themselves.
The men, on the other hand, developed their ability to defend their partners and their territory in order to survive. As a results, in male brains the part responsible for recognizing fear is much bigger than in female brains.
The games and toys
Different interactions and communication styles make boys and girls less likely to play with each other. Boys like more aggressive games and give more importance to toys. Girls care about their friendships and interactions more than the toys. In numbers, boys spend 65% of their free time in competitive games, while girls spend only 35%.
The boys are also more likely to "operate" and explore behind their parents' back and expose themselves toward danger and forbidden objects.
Boys give more importance to hierarchy and that is why they are more likely to enter the games that establish their domination in a group. Girls also establish a hierarchy, but in their case it is more flexible and changes over time.
The hierarchical dominance among boys is gained not only by height but by challenging an opponent and winning a fight.
Girls show aggressiveness in another way. They set the rules of the game and want to be in the center of attention. Therefore, they are walking a fine line between having harmonious relationships and having it their way.
Cognitive abilities
The biggest difference in the cognitive abilities by the age of 5 is in the spatial intelligence. The males brain's part responsible for spatial intelligence is always "turned on", while in the girl's brain is activated only when needed.
Hope you found these information useful. The next posts will be about teenage and adolescent years, and finally mature ages.
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